Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Weightloss - what the health fascists don't tell you.

I am currently at the point in an ongoing diet where colleagues and acquaintances are coming up to me and saying "Gosh, you've lost a lot of weight", and worrying about my being too thin. I'm am not, needless to say, too thin - that would require at least another two stone of slimming to achieve, and I have no wish to go there. But I have come down from 15 st to 11 st, from what in Body Mass Index (BMI) terms is "obese" to "normal". So for anyone contemplating such a transformation and wondering what the downside is, let me explain:

1) It's colder. Actually, it's much the same but you feel the cold a lot more without your customary padding.

2) Sitting on hard chairs becomes agonising. Again, a dramatic loss of padding makes itself felt in uncomfortable ways. Frankly, I would quite happily have kept a degree of cushioning on the backside and rid myself of the manboobs and beergut first, but alas the limb insulation went first, leaving me looking for a while like an obese torso with manboobs and a beergut, out of which stuck matchstick arms and legs.

3) Stretchmarks. Honestly, from waist to rib I resemble a freakishly hairy mother of young twins. The doctor never mentioned this, curiously.

4) Becoming a diet bore. I shall gloss over exact BMI figures and diet tips, but I *could* talk about them nonstop for over an hour. Frends comment on how thin I'm looking, and then glaze over a mere 15 minutes or so into my reply.

I hereby promise I will never blog about this again. Honest.