I have recently gone through a life-changing experience. This has not been easy for a middle-aged, respectably married man; but there is a new object of passion in my life.
I saw her in the street, and was captivated by her beauty. Her body has the most seductive curves I have ever seen. I should have admired from afar and left it at that, but I searched out more about her on the internet, and my desire grew, and became a consuming passion; I fantasized about running my hands over her lovely body, to possess her, to be - I blush to say it - inside her.
I had to have her.
I summoned up the courage to tell my wife.
"I'm sorry, but I cannot live without her. I don't want our marriage to end over this; what I would like ideally is for her to come and live with us and us all to try and get on together. And I think Guthlac will love her..."
She looked me right in the eye, remaining calm and poised.
"If you insist, then yes she can come and live here. But on one condition."
I felt my heart pounding.
"And your condition is?"
"That you put me down on the insurance as a named driver."