Scene: My home, this morning.
Dramatic personae: Gyppo Byard, Guthlac (aged two and a half), Djangolina (Aged 12)
G: A'am Spar'kus.
GB (blankly): You are sparkers?
G: No, a'am Spaaa'rkus.
GB: You are starkers?
G: No, a'am Spaaaaaaaaa'arkus"
GB: You are Spartacus?
G: Yes. I am Spartacus.
Djangolina: No, I am Spartacus!
G: No, I am Spartacus (launches spirited attack on sister's midriff)
I have to go through this every day. So do they...