Tuesday, 11 November 2008

In which I shock No Good Boyo...

The normally impeturbable Boyo blenches as he strides purposefully by and clearly overhears a treacherous isolated part of a sentence, in which I am apparently telling a colleague "... and kick the cr*p out of the Chinese!". Boyo's discomfiture may be related to the fact that the colleague in question is a Mr Zhang, late of Shandong Province.
"Ah - we need your expertise!" I call merrily to Boyo, but he demurs, fleeing what he clearly fears is an act of imminent violence.
Need I explain to the world that - a propos of the power politics that led to WWI, a fair enough topic for Remembrance Day - we were discussing the curiosity whereby France, Britain, Japan, Germany, Austro-Hungary and the USA were united in a single alliance against the Boxer Rebellion at the turn of the 20th century?

8 comments:

Shandonger said...

It was actually a perfectly logical thing for them to do. Though barbarians, being barbarians, spend most of the time fighting amongst themselves, they would unite in their common fight against civilisation.

scarlet-blue said...

Is Boyo ever really shocked by anything? I imagine him as this cool welsh dude who's fazed by nothing. Perhaps he could be the next James Bond... he could wear a DJ and a stripey bobble hat... or he could be the next Dr Who... and he could wear a stripey scarf... and have a sheep as a companion.
Apologies.
Sx

No Good Boyo said...

Yup, that sounds like me, Scarlet. I and two Welsh colleagues, Sioba Siencyn and Iago Anffawd, wrote a script for a Welsh Bond film during an all-day sesh some years ago. I retain the barely-legible script, which contains a page on which are scrawled the words "Helena Bonham Carter - LESBIUN!!". It needs to be made.

As Dr Who I would chose Charlotte Church as my travelling companion. Who'd need a sonic screwdriver?

I'm glad to say I heard no part of Gyppo's chat with the Miraculous Mandarin, and merely fled at the sight of his expectant leer. I thought Shanghai dormitory practices were imminent.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Sounds an excellent initiative! It ticks many boxes, not least Charlotte Church's, though I would argue for Shirley Bassey as The Doctor's assistent - an older woman (in keeping with Boyo's recent thesis) a lady of colour (would that be a first?) and with a snappy phrasing of her lines that's all her own. (I have to declare a vested interest though: I used to go out with a girl from Abertillery who was named after Dame Shirley's daughter, 'cos her mum used to babysit her).

Gyppo Byard said...

Shandonger - Nice of you to drop by, Mr Zhang.

Scarlet - don't let his carefully maintained facade of sophistication fool you. Read Mrs Boyo's blog for the unexpurgated truth...

Gadjo - I believe Dr Who revently had a companion of colour, named Martha Jones if memory serves me right. Don't ask why that detail stuck in my memory.

scarlet-blue said...

I do indeed read The Daily Scorch, very good it is too, but there needs to be more (sorry Mrs B)!
And Martha Jones was one of the best assistants.
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

Have I got this right? Boyo's going to be the assistant to Doctor Who played by Shirley Bassey and Charlotte Church and somewhere along the way they have a lesbian tryst with Helena Bonham Carter?

Good luck to the lad, but I'm sure they had this plotline on On The Buses on time.

Kevin Musgrove said...

This isn't right. In my last comment I had some indecipherable drivel as a word verification and only now "claft" turns up. It would have fitted in so well.