Gentlemen - having settled the previous matter - rightly - in favour of The 5678s, let us apply ourselves to a scientific matter taking in elements of ethology, palaeontology and ctyprozoology.
I would phrase this vital question thus: In a pub car-park fight, who would win - Godzilla, or the T-Rex out of Jurassic Park?
Godzilla:
The T-Rex:
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7 comments:
Oh is this debate limited to gentlemen? I'm sorry, I'll withdraw fragrantly. Anything I can iron for you while I'm barefoot in the kitchen?
My first thought was definitely Godzilla. The T-Rex in Jurassic Park was hopeless. Even eating that lawyer on the lav didn't redeem it for me.
But this is a fight in a pub car park, so other factors come into play. We need more info. Do either Godzilla or T-Rex have a girlfriend there pleading "Leave 'im luv. 'E's not worf it!"? Is this the spacious car park of a 1930s roadhouse off the A3 (which would give the less nimble Godzilla the chance to stand back and zap T-Rex from a distance) or is it the cramped back yard of a twee gastro pub in a Georgian conservation area where the no-nonsense Godzilla would already be feeling uncomfortable and out of place?
Daphne: No need to leave us for the kitchen. But do put on some shoes, please. Take a tip from the Ronettes.
Daphne - you are welcome to join in, it's just that all the women of my acquaintance tend to roll their eyes and try to change to topic when I raise interesting questions like this. Clearly you are one of the lads. Pull up a seat and have some crisps and a lager...
Sauti - That was kind of the thinking behind the question - normally you'd say Godzilla but a in the roughhouse of the poorly-lit tarmacked bit behind The Thatcher's Arms the T-Rex might have a good chance. And is modern scientific thinking not that the T-Rex's arms, while not equipped for decisive grasping, might be enough to grasp a broken bottle?
I hope we're talking the proper Jap Godzilla, not the tacky Hollywood imposter. Or are they twins?..
Anyway, it's got to be Godz. The T Rex's manky little front paws could grasp nothing so, as a colleague has pointed out, one kick to the lizardly pods would fell him and what's he going to do about it?
The car park factor can't be ignored, though. A small car park, like that of the Clifton Arms in Caversham, Berks, would favour T Rex as he could nut Godzilla while the poor bugger's wedged between the smoking area and the charity shop that used to be a florists.
If we talking about the White Horse in Emmer Green, or the Black Horse at Chekendon, then the space cancels out any T Rex advantage.
Godzilla has great hight, proper arms, can probably breathe fire and has the typical ingenuity of the Nipponese.
T Rex has a hard forehead, like some giant Brummie.
Set, game and match to 'zilla.
Oh, I've never seen any of these films but that 'zilla really is quite impressive. However, I take a Wellesian view of these things and feel that a humble bacteria - perhaps the common cold, or Chlamydia - would be the ultimate adversary. I therefore see the car park scene as a rather poetic longueur with a monologue from 'zilla about the futility of existence etc.
Boyo - I think we're moving collectively towards being able to fill in the "suggestions for further research" bit with "Dinosaur cage fighting potentialities of the pub carparks of Berkshire - a preliminary survey".
Gadjo - Somehow I think a movie whose plotline involves T-Rex giving Godzilla chlamydia would be aimed at a rather different market from the earlier examples of the genre.
The producer of "Carpark Monster Gouge IV: The Rex Fest", watches Godzilla musing on his existential dilemmas and decides that the late Eric Rohmer was not the best choice of director.
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